My Top 20 Favorite Monster Movies (part 2)

Art by me - http://kaijusaurus387.deviantart.com/art/Tetsuo-the-Iron-Man-630594032

Well last time we talked about smog monsters, STDs, and parasites and this time we're talking about more of my favorite creepy critters!

Links to videos in the image captions.

Video

Tokyo Gore Police

While my tastes in raunchy, Japanese gore-fest is limited in all honesty when it comes to films; I like anime and manga like that just fine, but somehow when it's in film it makes me pretty queasy. However, Tokyo Gore Police is a very, very big exception (not to say this movie isn't extremely nauseating at times). 

The idea of a disease that causes people's wounds to grow weapons and some pretty unexplainable mutations is just such a great concept to me. I guarantee that if when I cut my hand off it would turn into a crab-claw/eel mouth hybrid, I would chop it RIGHT NOW! 

Just to let you know, this movie is NOT for everyone's tastes. These are some of the most disgusting visuals I've ever seen. I've yet to see a movie with anything worse than that damn, chair.  

Video

Ghoulies

Ghoulies is a movie that is very close to my heart. I watched the second Ghoulies when I was around 7-8 with my dad on cable and it had an extremely lasting effect on me; not only horrifying me, but it also left serious mark on my taste in horror and fiction in general. Ghoulies is the entire reason I love the whole "small monster" thing and absurd horror stories. 

If you at all like Horror Comedy, B Movies, So Bad It's Good, or 80's Horror, this movie is the holy grail of your life. The movie isn't really sold as a Horror Comedy, but it does come across as one.The pure schlockiness though is really part of the charm and what makes it great. 

Video

Odd Thomas

People seeing ghosts to solve mysteries is nothing new by any means. Neither are ghosts that help solve mysteries. Odd Thomas, however, is by far the best supernatural mystery I've ever seen. It's also full of great acting which is something missing from MOST of the movies on this list. 

Video

The Creature from the Black Lagoon

Before you read this paragraph, watch that video. Doesn't that gorgeous critter just look alive? Honestly, I would choose these special effects over any CGI dinosaur or Satan any day. You really get something a lot more from a person inside of a creature-suit, it just feel so much alive; probably because it is. 

There's also something to be said about the movie itself; it's sheer quality is outstanding for the time it was made (1954); the story is well crafted and seems believable enough, the filming and direction is great, the writing is great, and the acting is very good and natural. It's honestly hard to believe this movie was made in the time it was, with all the schlock and cheese that was pushed out of the media in fear of nuclear radiation and space aliens; don't get me wrong, I love those movies, but they really do get kind of old.

Video

Godzilla vs Megaguirus

This is the first Godzilla movie I ever saw, but I love it for so many more reasons than that. This movie really stand out from the other Godzilla movies (a lot like Godzilla vs Hedorah) story and tone-wise. There's times when this movie seems like it wants to be a horror movie and even references the movie Alien; which a lot of the movie seems like it's a homage to).

Also, I think Megaguirus is one of my favorite monsters shown in the Godzilla Franchise so far. Her design reminds me of Battra a lot (another favorite) and she's one of the very few Dragon-fly kaiju I think of. Plus she queen of the Meganula, a monster previously from the film Rodan!

My Top 20 Favorite Monster Movies (part 1)

How it feels to chew 5 Gum

I have really neglected this blog for a very long time. And I'm really working on getting back to writing on it again more. Things like school and just life in general have made it very hard to do or have the time for. So what a better way to get back into the swing of things than talking about my one of my biggest passions in life: MOVIES!!!

I'm a pretty big movie junkie, always have been, always will be. The only thing I love more than a movie is a horror movie, and the only thing I love more than a horror movie is a monster movie! I gobble up up monster movies like school girls gobble up tentacles (I'm sorry). I've been hooked on monsters for as long as I can possibly remember and think I'll always have that slobbering, snaggle toothed, skinless monkey on my back.

So I thought that going over my top 20 favorite monsters movies would a good way to get back into blogging again.

Godzilla vs the Smog Monster

A.K.A. Godzilla vs Hedorah; this is just one of those Godzilla movies. It's kinda of a love it or hate it Godzilla movie, but I think anyone who's a fan of surreal and bizarre films would enjoy it. It has an early late 60's/early 70 psychedelic vibe to parts of it), cheesy children's Godzilla vibes, straight up David Lynch-like vibes that bring to mind things like Twin Peaks, and even times when it seems like it wants to be taken as a pure horror film!

While this got A LOT of mixed reviews, I always felt it had a lot going for it. Maybe I'm just biased toward bizarre and surreal films but I really would recommend this movie if you haven't seen it already.

It Follows

Oh boy. If you haven't seen this one yet, because you should have, you're really missing out. I honestly think a lot of people didn't see this one simply for the fact that people said that it was about a "Sexually Transmitted Demon," a.k.a. STD, but I'll have you know they never once call it a demon in the film, and calling it that kind of ruins the fun if you ask me: it's simply It.

Sure, it was a movie about a monster that you pass on to the last person you had sex with, but why does that automatically make it a demon? Is it the whole Succubus/Incubus thing?

Trick r' Treat

I have only just recently seen this movie for the first time and I have to say that it's one of the best anthology movies I've ever seen; I would go as far as saying this movie blew V/H/S/2 right out of the graveyard. One of the reasons this Horror Anthology stands out among others such as The Twilight Zone and even the V/H/S franchise is because all four of these stories take place in one town, at the same time, and all tie together in a very nice way. Plus it has Sam.

This movie has does have it's fair share of cliches thrown in but it uses them well and clearly is using them to it's advantages. It does hold up far better than most movies that take place during Halloween, even including the movie Halloween (what ever, I feel like it's a pretty boring movie and it's over hyped, I liked the 3rd film far better).

Return of the Living Dead

As someone who really isn't into zombies that much, it's a pretty big statement for me to say that this is one of my favorite movies. If you wanna know why I don't like zombies, just go read this article on Bogleech.com because I feel the same exact way and couldn't put it better myself.

Return is just one of those movies that's impossible not to love. Not only does it have one of the most memorable zombies ever put into film, it's also the ORIGINS of brain eating zombies!

The Hidden

Who likes alien movies from the 1980's? I know I sure do. The Hidden though, truly does live up to it's name as it seems to be hidden from the B-Movie fandom for some strange reason. This movie is criminally unknown and deserves so much more praise!

The movie follows an FBI agent named Lloyd Gallagher (played by Kyle McLaughlin) who's pursuing a dangerous killer who just so happens to be a parasitic space slug who loves 1980's heavy music and fast cars. I can tell you're just scrambling to see this undiscovered gem right after you read that. It is available for rental on Xfinity for only$ 3.99 and it's completely worth it for that cheap!

That raps up part 1! Next time we go over another 5 movies!

My Favorite "Caught on Tape" Videos part 1

Even though it takes a lot for a "CAUGHT ON TAPE" video to convince me, I still really love to watch those videos and everything they have to offer. It's also a topic I've been meaning to discuss for a while now. And while I'm not a true skeptic,  I do NOT believe in demons, angels, possession, or any other religious mumbo jumbo (no offence).  While I don't believe in these things, I'm willing to hear your opinions and am willing to think that MAYBE there is some truth in these things. And even though I don't believe in them, we're still gonna talk about them.

Okay. The first one we're looking at here is about demons (supposedly) and I'm not going to mention the fact that I don't believe in them anymore because I'm just gonna end up getting into an argument that I don't want be part of.  This video is obviously VERY fake. But it's a great one regardless. The minute I saw the arms I was in love with the video, but the end of the video,  just... just damn.

I've seen this video about 10 times, and I am still not entirely sure what the fuck is going on. The description gives no clues and the video has no English subtitles and is in Japanese. The title of he video is simply "JAPANESE GHOST CAUGHT ON TAPE" which also gives no further clues. The ghost in the video is very reminiscent of Traditional Japanese Ghost from stories of old and is amazingly designed. This video is also very likely fake, and even as a believer of Ghosts, I seriously have my doubts about this one.

One of the few videos on the list that I think could actually be real. Sasquatch is a creature most people think is most defiantly fake, and while for the most part I feel the same way, there are a few videos that convince me enough to think that it could be real. This is an especially interesting video, even if it isn't real, because it shows an Albino Sasquatch, something we never really get to see.  I don't really know what it is about this video that convinces me, it just seems real to me.

While Slender Man is an entity whose existence I completely deny, a Slender Man video is always something good.  This is a very short video, but offers up a lot of good Slenderness. And before you even go in the comments telling Slender Man is real because you have seen him or know someone who has seen him, you're wrong. And even if you did really see something, it wasn't Slender Man, you saw something that mistook for Slender Man. Slender Man is the brain child of Victor Surge, nothing more, nothing less.

The only reason this video is even being included is because it real. No doubt about it. Now, whether that real thing is paranormal, a Cryptid, or anything of the like is unknown, but there is most defiantly something behind that tree.

Homunculus Nightmare!!!

Homunculus Nightmare is a new printable game created by Bogleech.com! I'm not going to get into the game play, but I AM going to talk about the beautiful creature designs! Each creature more beautiful than the last.

FINGER MOTH

Probably my favorite of all the different creatures in this game so far. The strangely bird-like anatomy is awesome, even though it is obviously not bird-like at all. And even the "Beak" isn't even a beak, it's two antenna! How adorable is that? And the little worm-like body is just gorgeous.

SPITEBLIGHT

o_o... He's like some kind of meat-carrot voodoo doll. I can't think of anything much cuter than that. I love that he looks like he's been walking around in Ink. I've also forgot to mention that each monster has a fear that goes into the game play. This one's fear is to sit on a clowns lap. When this thing is frightened I image he probably just shakes uncontrollably and lets out a whining whimper that's muffled by his nearly closed lips.

EYES CREAM

I'm glad he when with "EYES CREAM" instead of "EYE SCREAM", which would just sound corny and stereotypical. Eyes Cream is probably my least favorite of the bunch, but still has enough Bogleechyness to remain memorable.

DROOLAPSE

I'm not even sure what's going on here. The fact that it licks  YOUR eyeballs while YOU sleep makes me wonder if those are even its own eyes. Are those someone else's eyes that it just licked out from someone's skull? Or are those eye balls just always there and somehow bound by tongue flesh?

Also... those saggy blue boobs make me very uncomfortable.

CREEPING TOM

While most would probably see this as the most boring of all the Homuncluses, it's like my second to favorite. The simplicity of it is great, but the addition of the melty eyes is just great. I also like the coloration of the eyes, most of the time you'd see it either filled with more red or black, but the white really just adds to the creep factor to me.

CLOGLODYTE

And our final Homunculus. It's one of the best, and the fact that it causes constipation is just adorable. The over all design kind of just screams ear to me for some reason. But it's really like some kind of sewage tube with arms and warts... ADORABLE!!! The name Cloglodyte implies caves, but most likely  lives inside a sewer/ toilet drain rather than a cave. 

The Homunculus Nightmare game has some very inventive designs up in it. And even more are to come! So if more come out before Halloween, I'll defiantly be reviewing them too, I mean I'll review them regardless, but it will be more special if I do it before Halloween.

Halloween 2015: Hybrid Animals

Hear that? That's the sound of Japanese Men
around the world fapping to this picture.

What's a better way to start off the Halloween Count Down then with physical abominations created with Photoshop?

If you've spent enough time on the internet, you've probably seen Photoshop images of different animals put together to make some otherworldly creations, such as this, this, or this.  I mean really, everyone has seen the Shark Cat.

This is something I've been meaning to write about for quite a while actually. I've just never really gotten around to doing it. I found a lot of strange pictures of Hybrid Animals these past few days and I can't wait to share them with you all!

Crocobear

I really only like this one because it reminds me of some kind of Kaiju, and I love Kaiju. I could totally see the Crocobear getting his ass kicked by Godzilla or Ultraman. Why haven't Crocodiles and Bears been crossed before anyway? They seem so perfect together.

Blama

That's right, a Llama (I think) crossed over with a bunny: A Blama. Two creatures that also seem like they should always be mixed together, it just seems so obvious once you see it. I don't know why but I feel like this thing probably walks around like a person and not like a Llama.

Rhinophant

This thing has one of the weirdest, longest head's I've ever seen. I really think that's what makes it a lot better. If it didn't have a weird head, it's just be a trunk-less and horned Elephant.

I can think of this guy walking around peacefully, and that it's probably not violent at all, unless of course, it has to be.

Dragon

I don't know if this one's technically a hybrid. It's made the same way though, so I'm gonna count it. I really like Geckos as Dragons, I think that all Dragons should be Geckos, or Goats, Goats are good too. They just seem perfect for the job. The fact that they lick their eyes makes them good as Dragons in my opinion.

Ghoul

I'm calling this a Ghoul because of H. P. Lovecraft, and if that confuses you just look it up, because I don't want to spoil anything for anyone.  This is like the only one that's scary , and by that I mean that this thing is fucking nightmarish. It almost looks real, the skin and fur of the chimp and dog are just so similar and matching that it almost doesn't look Photoshoped.

Banana Fish
 

Yes, that is both a Banana and Fish. I can't look at this thing without being amazed and terrified at the same time. Like on one hand, this picture is beautiful and knowing it exists makes my life that much better. While on the other hand, I can't stop imagining opening one of the Bananas we just bought and seeing this little fucking thing. It would be a terrible and traumatic experience. I would be a bananaphobe for the rest of my life.

Dear

This thing is adorable. Somehow crossing one of the ugliest dogs with one of the worst and most hideous creatures on the planet made of the cutest thing's I've ever seen. Dogs and Bears need to be bio engineered to create these things in real life.I want one of these things, more than any other creature on this planet.  I would rather have this thing than a man-sized Starfish. I would rather have this thing than a mouse sized Elephant.

Chamelophin

This is the only Dolphin I've ever seen that is cool, other than those pink river Dolphins and Leilons. This guy actually kind of reminds me of Leilons and that's one of the reasons he's in the list. The Chamelophin would be a pretty cool creature to see in real life. They probably live in Coral Reefs.

Shog

The Shog is defiantly one of my favorites. Another one that I could see being a Giant Monster, in fact I designed a giant monster quite similar a long time ago. This is also probably one of the scariest thing on the list.

Halligator

The Halligator is one of the weirdest looking on the list. It almost reminds me of something canine-like, I don't know why, because nothing about it has any canine features. I wish this is what canines looked like in stead of adorable little puff balls. But on the other hand, if this is what canines looked like, we wouldn't have the Shog would we?

Rhinodile

This one just screams dinosaur, without looking like any known dinosaur, except maybe something out of the early Triassic Period. The Rhinodile here really isn't all that interesting though, other than the fact that a mix between a reptile and mammal can create a dinosaur.

Hippecko

The Hippecko is really one of my favorites. I would like to see this crawling around my backyard or even in my house! I'm sorry to say that I don't have a lot to say about this one either though.

Mini Werewolf

Obviously that one image of that tiny monkey that everyone on the internet knows but with a wolf face. But I don't want to think of this thing is a Monkey/Wolf  Hybrid, I want a tiny werewolf. I mean sure, this could be a small monkey that turns into a werewolf, but I think of it as a normal person that transforms into a super, tiny werewolf.

Weagle

A really interesting design and mix. It seems like a pretty obvious mix, as Wolves and Owls have become such a big pop culture thing and are often drawn together. But it sort creates a haunting affect. If this thing swooped down at you in the night, it would be horrible, it would be terrifying. Almost like the Jersey Devil. You know what, this thing is The Jersey Devil, I've just decided.

Pat

Holy...fuckings...shit!!! This is horrible, it's terrifying, This is easily the scariest on the list. I take back what I said about The Shog, this is ten times scarier than the Shog. Pat is pure fucking nightmare fuel. 

Seagle

Another creature born from pure nightmares, but somehow adorable. It looks like a big beaked slug. And slugs are adorable, and if you disagree you must be Satan. This one seems to be sleeping, and I can't picture it any other way. But maybe these things always sleep, and they never wake up. Like ancient creatures from the dawn of time that are waiting for the right time to wake up.

Dabbit

This... this is pure magic. Magick even. This is more likely Magick than Magic (if you don't understand that, then you don't know a lot about Aleister Crowley). Dabbits are something I wish existed in real life. I'd love to have one. And it would get alone great with the Dear! They'd just play all day and sleep in the same bed at night and be best friends.

Walrus Snail

Yup, that's both a Walrus and a Snail. A WALRUS!!!! AND A FUCKING SNAIL!!!!!!!!! Don't those two things just belong together!? It works so well. The only thing that could make this better is if it's eye stocks where also tusks. Wouldn't that be amazing? I mean sure, it wouldn't be able to see, but that would make it so much cuter!

Armildophant

This thing is adorable. It's not very well made, but it's adorable. I have a hard time imagining this thing rolling into a ball because of the size of it's head, and that's hilarious.  Don't you just wish these where real? Like they'd just be walking across the road done in Texas and Arizona and probably have like little prairie dog town style houses in the desert.

Rooster Cat

This thing is beautiful. It looks so real. If I was still like 7 years old, I might believe this thing is real. Who ever made this image is a master of Photoshop. This is a totally believable creature.

Shamster

This thing brings to mind the movie Critters, and that just makes him that much better.  Obviously just a sharks mouth put on a hamster's (gerbil's?) body. But it makes such a great image, I can imagine an entire swarm of these things just ripping into people and devouring them. Just gnashing their little mouths and eating people. AREN'T THEY JUST ADORABLE?!?!

Spowl

These things just keep getting more and more adorable and cute. Owls and Spiders should always be spliced together, they belong together. Two super creepy animals together make one of the most adorable things I've ever seen. I also refuse to say these things are ALL spider sized. They're all different. Some are as small as jumping spiders, and some are as big as large dogs, and they all live in the same cave. And in that cave they spin massive webs and trap people to drink (spiders do that you know.). These things aren't nearly as cute anymore.

Hedge Eagle

Ooooooooh!!!! This thing is too much. It's adorable. It beyond that. This thing is my spirit animal. If I had my own island, I would fill it with Hedge Eagles, and close off sections of wilderness to protect the Hedge Eagles. They're probably hunted by Weagles all the time, and are even hunted for sport by those damn Jersey Devils. DAMN YOU!!!! DAMN YOU, YOU DEVILS OF NEW JERSEY!!!!

Pandakeet

The Pandakeet is another one that I just want to hug! Also one that I'd put on my island. Isn't he adorable? I think this one reminds me of a kaiju of some kind too. I can totally see this dude hanging out with Ultraman (not fighting) or maybe even living on Skull Island.

Cephaloshroom

I really, really like this one. Gives me a Lovecraftian feel. Looks like something out a fantasy story, like maybe even D&D. As creative of a creature this one is though, it's not that great of Photoshop.

Slird

MAJESTIC!!!!! MAJESTIC AS FUCK!!!!!! This is a beautiful creature and it upsets me that none actually exist. These things would be magic in the flesh, just imagine them  flying around outside your house and building nests on top of street lights! Imagine them living in my basement!

Rhinomelon

Take a look at this majestic beast. A delicious, majestic beast. There are quite a few of these Rhino pictures on the web, chicken ones, alligator ones (as we have already seen), and even a Shark one. But this one is by far the best.

Just imagine an entire watermelon environment. Every living creature made completely of watermelon. And not only the animals, but the plant life, and even the fungi!

Weapon X

I really couldn't think of any other name for this thing. This thing though, it's just beautiful. Mixing feline and reptile features work in such a great way, but are never really done quite enough.

This guy also reminds me the extremely homoerotic He-Man's battle cat. Only a lot cooler and more vicious looking.

Hippocrab

One of the best Photoshoped images ever created. This creature really just invokes a true emotional response in me. It brings a tear to my eye. This is a creature of pure beauty. An amazing creature, that could only dwell in the majestic plains of the after-life................ or in my basement.

Bull Penguin

This is a seriously terrifying image. Just imagine this thing waddling toward you, gnashing it massive jaws. Not even a polar bear would dare to fuck with this thing. Not to mention, this thing is a penguin, so they are in flocks, meaning that these things could just fuck a polar bear up.

I was originally going to save this one for last. But I found this last one kind of last minute, so I'm using it as the final creature. It rivals the Bull Penguin and the Hippocrab as the ultimate living thing on what ever planet these beautiful things come from.

DUNNN....

DUN...

DUN DUNNN!!!!!!!!!!!!

The Pine-Owl

BEHOLD!!!!! THE MOST BEAUTIFUL!!!! THE MOST MAJESTIC!!!! THE VERY MOST AMAZING CREATURE TO EVER WALK THIS MORTAL SOIL!!!!! THE PINE-OWL!!!!

Isn't this just the most incredible thing to ever walk the Earth? Isn't this what Photoshop was meant for? The fact that this image exists is what makes life worth living. I need this image printed from my computer 500 dozen times, so I can hang it around the city on street lights and and adorn my bedroom walls with it.

This is the king of all hybrid animals, this is the kings of all animals period.  The grand supreme, the grand magnus, OUR LORD AND SAVIOR!!!

Random Stuff!

Well, I have not idea what I'm gonna write about, I'm just gonna make this article up as I go along with out any sort of plan, let's hope it works out!

SCP-511

One of my favorite SCPs, SCP-511 is a large biomass of cats that live in basements or crawlspaces. But the thing is, these are not normal cats. They often have extra limbs, eyes, organs (sometimes on the outside of the body!), or to little of these things.

Hagfish

Hagfish are some of the coolest animals in the ocean. How many other animals do you know that turn the water around them into a thick slime? Hagfish use this slime as protection against larger animals. When are large animal bite or tries to bite one, it will quickly turn the water around it into slime! And sometimes even suffocate the larger animal with the slime!

Tortoise - Gamera

This is a great song! By the band Tortoise, it's a great instrumental jam to listen to while drawing or something like that. I suggest you listen to it.

Dog-O-Pillar

From the film House 2 (one of my personal favorites) that I have written an article about in the past. This guy comes from prehistoric times and is one of the best characters from all horror cinema! He is brought to life by what I think is a hand puppet, and sadly got no stop motion scenes, which is a shame, because this movie has some nice stop motion.

Ooze Monsters

Some of the greatest monsters to ever come from Adventure Time, these creatures are even from when Ice King was Simon still. They are a lot like zombies in many ways, they even infect people and turn them into Ooze Monsters via bite.

Graboids

Graboids are the infamous worm-things from the Tremors Series. No one knows what they are really though, I'd like to think they are prehistoric though. They still have two more too!

Also play this game that features them, you can play as Kevin Bacon!: link

Cookie Cutter Shark

Cookie Cutter Sharks are the only animal I can really say that I like. Sharks scare the shit out of me. But Cookie Cutter Sharks, I love them! They're still really scary, because they can bite out small little chunks out of you. But I like them because they are Bio-Luminescent, and just so interesting.