Wednesday, August 20, 2014

Monsters That Will Make You Say "What In the Fuck?"


Like the last article, we'll talk about some monsters not every one knows about, but will also make you say "What the fuck?!". I like monsters that make your mind feel like you've been a crack tripe for too long, and during this time you've eat tons of LSD. And when I say that, I mean that, I mean I like weird monsters. There's lots of weird monsters out there, and of course I can't name them all, but I'm gonna do my best and name as many as I can.

The Ghoulie Eater
As you guys have probably guesses, I'm a Ghoulies Fan. But this strange Creature isn't really Ghoulie, he's the Ghoulie Eater. He appears in Ghoulies 2, at the end of the film when they have to get rid of the Ghoulies. He is summoned from hell when Sir Nigel (I think that's how you spell his name), reads from a book of magic. After the Ghoulies have all been eaten though, a new problem arises, who do they get rid of the Ghoulie Eater? It's simple, they take a monster suit, and put an explosive in it. See simple. 

After he eats the monster suit, of course, the suit blows up inside of him, killing him, and most likely the not yet digested Ghoulies inside of him. Most people hate this monster, and the ending of the movie, but I love it. The Monster itself, looks like the Fish Ghoulie, just real big.

King Jellyjam

King Jellyjam, appeared in the Goosebumps series, written by R. L. Stine. He is a massive glob of mutated Jell-O or Pudding that lives in a mine shaft., FUN RIGHT!!! But wait It get's better. The monster sweats little black snails and is stinky, YAY!!! He also runs a camp, where he makes children wash him through psychic mind control, because his hands are too stubby for him to wash himself. So I guess he's just Jell-O that's smelly.

I've never really read any of these books, because they were written before I was born. I was born in the year 2000, and I'm pretty sure these books where written in the 90's. I'm considering reading this one though, even though I feel like I'm too old, and a few others. 




The Evil Patrixxx Cast
As you guys can tell, I have a slight and creepy obsession with Evil Patrixxx. And because Evil Patrixxx is one of my guilty pleasures, I couldn't pick one character to put in this list, instead, I went with the entire cast. The whole cast is only five characters, and all of them, look like cracked out Sponge Bob characters. The main character is, of course, Evil Patrixxx. And all of them are ancient beings of evil and good, although, the only truly good character is Patrixxx. Then the other main character is Patrixxx, a  benevolent version of Evil Patrixxx, who is best friends with SpongeBoxxx. SpongeBoxxx is a somewhat evil creature created by a super angle (don't even ask, I don't know what any of that means my self), and then dropped into the sea. And then there's Squidwarxxx, the best friend of Evil Patrixxx, who is known to be grumpy and violent.

And because The Evil Patrixxx Wiki now allows original "Xxx", I created my own characted, Mr. Krabxxx. A evil Mr. Krabs looking creature who fell from the sky into a viking battle and one purpose in life is to kill, kill, and kill some more.  And what's really cool, is that the universe can keep growing, because the wiki allows you to keep making more characters, and hopefully, they'll continue to be more and more "what the fuck?!" worthy.

Snakeweed


I just watch to start by saying, I've never seen this show, but i plan to in the future. Snakeweed is a cross between a man and a weed, and his name is Snakeweed,, because as a human, His name was Snake, get it? That's all I have to say about this guy really, just felt like I should include him.




Pustulump

The Pustulump, is a monster from the Mortasheen Universe, and I felt like I should save him for last, because he's so awesome. The Pustulump is bassically a lump of oozing, and festering wounds, that squirt and spray everywhere. But under this lump of lumpyness, is a hidden humanoid creature with a disfigured human-like face! Yes, yes it's beautiful. I'm sorry but I just love this creature, it's so fucking amazing, as is almost everything that comes from Jonathan Wojcik's mind (Mr. Wojcik is the creator of this beautiful creature).

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